Comparison and how it affects the child’s esteem

We all carry our individual traits and personalities. Certain traits which are formed during early years through our experiences, exposures and upbringing create a lasting impact on us. They drive us in making decisions, in our choices and our reactions to situations. 

Since we stay in a society it is only natural to compare ourselves and our children with others. It is healthy to make comparisons to some extent to assess ourselves.  

One must be very cautious while making comparisons between children. Also, the way this is communicated to them should be very tactful. If comparison is made with a child’s friend, then chances are that it may lead to resentment and enmity between them. Make sure that if you provide negative criticism to your child then it is also backed with praises for things that you are proud of or good traits about the child.  

Criticism given and taken positively can go a long way in building the child’s self- confidence. It can also push the child to do better of pursue certain hobbies.  

Academically, children are often subjected to comparisons, through the ranking system, grading system and marking system. Since this system is objective (pertaining only to performance in exams or projects) children tend to get motivated to do better. 

At, St. Marys, the best convent school in Kalyan, we ensure that all grading is done objectively without prejudice and only based on performance in exams. Special care is taken for children in the bottom end and the top end of the spectrum. It is important to note that children who are top scorers are also subjected to great degrees of anxiety in order to maintain their ranks and therefore, need special attention too. 

In conclusion, it may be noted that comparison is a delicate path to tread and must be tackled carefully in order for it to bring out good results and not hamper the child further.